What is Peter Pan's favorate place to eat out? Wendys.
You've got to hand it to blind prostitudes.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches his students? A PDF File.
How does the Rock pee? He Dwaynes his Johnson.
Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight?
They just don't really like each other.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Because Ken came in a different box.
I went and saw my doctor the other day and he told me I had to stop masturbating. And I aksed him "Why?".
And he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
My girlfriend told me recently "I think you are a pedophile".
And I answered "That is a big word for a 5-year old".
What's the difference a chickpea and a red kidney bean?
I've never had a red kidney bean on my face.